After the big engagement there comes the planning of the wedding. Some people attend classes or workshops to help them understand one another before saying the big words “I do”. After completing the classes then it’s the BIG DAY. The big day is filled with excitement, laughs, smiles, tears, and lots of joy. Once everyone is gone it now the time for you and your spouse to enjoy being with one another. After a few weeks, months or even years pass you think about how huge of a commitment getting married really is, and you wonder how to make sure that this lasts a lifetime.

Thanks to the article 17 Things Married People Want Newlyweds To Know and Reddit thread, a recent survey was given to some couples that have been married for many years and they were asked to share their advice for making a marriage work for the long haul.

  1. "Love is an action verb. Love your spouse actively, every day."
  2. "Argue all you want, but it shouldn't be you vs. your SO. It should be you (TOGETHER) vs. the problem."
  3. "There is more than one right way to do something (e.g. load the dishwasher, fold the laundry, etc.)."
  4. "Never stop dating your spouse."
  5. "When you are angry and having a fight, refrain from calling your spouse names of any kind."
  6. "Make sure that you make time for sex."
  7. "Choose your battles. Sometimes you just need to breathe and carry on. Communication. Communication. Communication."
  8. "Always have each other's back in public. Never belittle your spouse. Have all the disagreements people normally do but let the world know you two are best friends."
  9. "Show appreciation! Always say thank you, even for little things. Being married to someone doesn't make you entitled to anything that they do for you."
  10. "Arguing occurs when being right is more important than listening to your spouse."
  11. "Always assume the other person has the best intentions. Let the small stuff go. Never stop being considerate or doing small gestures 'just because.'"
  12. "No matter how bad the fight, how frustrated you are, look for something to be thankful for in your spouse. It will help calm you and give you a second to clear your head."
  13. "Kiss each other EVERYDAY."
  14. "Never stop listening."
  15. "No one argues well at midnight. So sometimes it is ok to go to bed angry. Consider it a timeout to regroup."
  16. "You must remember: You're not in a battle. You're not boxing. You are not opponents. You are working towards a common cause: A happy, healthy, productive life together."
  17. "You put her first, she puts you first. If you're always more concerned about her needs than your own, and she's more concerned about your needs than her own, you won't have many problems."